HOW MANY?
by Jenny Lambert
Summary: An introspective piece about the SNT, and on war and it's results.


Please Note: All Gatchaman characters are property of Tatsunoko.This story is for fanfiction purposes only and I am receiving no profit from it.

**HOW MANY?**

By:Pat Vergis 

Being called to Nambu's office could sometimes feel like a summons from the principal. As much as Joe could intimidate the Galactor into having endless nightmares, there was only one who could have that effect on him; Hakase Kozuburo Nambu. Over and over he searched his memory for some clue as to why he alone had been sent for. It usually meant he was in trouble. And he hadn't missed Ken's accusatory look either when the Eagle had dutifully delivered Nambu'srequest. Then and now he shrugged. As far as he was aware of he'd done nothing in the last week. At least nothing outstanding.

He entered the office silently and stood before Nambu's desk. Whatever real or imaginary offense he was accused of he had no intention of playing the penitent. He stared hard at the top of Hakase's head, which, as usual, was buried into mounds of nameless paperwork. There was no need to clear his voice for attention because like themselves Nambu was a ninja. The moment Joe stood outside his door he not only knew of the arrival but who his visitor was. Nambu would acknowledge him only when he was ready.

It didn't take long so Joe knew he wasn't in too much trouble. Had he been Nambu out of sheer perversity would have ignored him another five minutes. Yet another clue was Nambu's smile. It was no small wonder that his face didn't crack. The man rarely ever smiled. He must be a Vulcan. A real life throw back to Spock.

"Good morning Joe" "Sir" "And how are you doing today?""What's the favor?"Nambu chuckled. "Right to the point then""Well if you're smiling I'm not in trouble. If it was a mission you'd have either just Ken or all of us in here. So you must want a favor." "And couldn't this just be social?""Please."OK Sherlock you're right, I do have a favor to ask.""Let me guess, your chauffeurs sick.""No, and if he was I am perfectly capable of driving myself.""Not as Galactor's number one target you wont! At least not without ample escort." "As if that would deter them!No Joseph it's not that. In fact you'll be pleased with this assignment" He didn't miss the use of Joseph as opposed to Joe.If he wasn't mad then the proper name must mean that whatever he is going to ask has special importance to him."An assignment for me and not Ken?""Well yes and no. It's not what you think. It has nothing to do with Galactor."

"Figures.""One day you'll get your chance for glory, its just that for the majority of the missions Ken is better qualified. Anyway let's not get into that old argument.You really will like this particular assignment.""How so?""It involves a really fast car and the upcoming race that I had previously asked you not to enter.""You've changed your mind?"Then Joe thought, uh-oh, last time he did that was when his old friend Lucy wanted to betray Galactorsecrets.It had cost her her life, whatever life that was.He still had a hard time coping with the revelation that she'd been turned into some kind of cyborg.He had entered that particular race only to obtain the information. "So what's the catch?Another old racing buddy turned Galactor slash cyborg?"

Nambu looked at his adopted son sadly.Joe's luck with women caused him to wonder if the boy hadn't been cursed by a gypsy at birth."Nothing like that, and again I really am sorry how that turned out. What I have in mind is for you to test my science departments latest project."" A racing car?"" Not as such. It's a new engine design and an alternative fuel system .If it runs smoothly enough I'd like to adapt it to home use and cut down of high gas prices and demand. If you want you can read my whole project file on it. Interested?""Enter your car and not the G2?""It's a challenge! An unpredictable car means an unpredictable outcome. Just think you can stick your nose up at Ken's suggestion that its the G2 that wins not the driver.""He only says that to push my buttons""Well now he wont be able to.""It would be like committing adultery with another car, but your right.It would be a challenge.""Then you'll do it?""Sure." "One other favor."" Should this be where I say uh-oh?""Probably.I could order both you and Ken to comply on this one but then I'd have to deal with the lousy attitudes later. I prefer that you would both do this voluntarily.""To do what?""Prior to the race there is a social event that ISO...""No way!""Some very important foreign dignitaries will be there...""No""I'd like to show off two of my older foster children....""I said no!""Especially the one who will be testing our prototype the next day.""You're deaf!""If you say yes the I'll attend the race the following day.""No...You will? You hate races!"" No more than you hate black tie affairs.""On one condition.""Ill probably regret this but what?""Serve on my pit crew?If I have to don a monkey suit its only fair that you give me the satisfaction of seeing you in overalls!"

Nambu sighed.He really did hate races.The crowds, the noise and the smell.And to serve on a pit crew?"I wouldn't know one piston from another""The pistons should be fine!Anyway it'd just be for show. No way would I even trust you with a monkey wrench! You may be a rocket scientist, but I've seen you with your own car.I have a good pit crew who will handle everything.Like Ken and the others you'd just be there.""All right.Fair is fair.If I can expect you to step into my world I should be willing to do the same.""Then I'll do the social thing.""You have a month to enter, qualify and practice with the new car.""This will be fun!

Here's to hoping Galactor stays quiet!"

A month later both Ken and Joe, on either side of Nambu fidgeted. One of the few things the two top leaders of the KNT had in common was their strong dislike of tuxedos.Sitting in the back seat of a stretch limo they pulled at this and tugged at that.On occasion they managed to elbow Nambu's ribs.One by accident, and the other with devilish intent.

"Will you two please quit squirming!Honestly! I don't know how either of you can dace down death each day, tolerate high levels of pain , and endure missions that can last up to fortyeight hours and yet having been in those suits for all of twenty minutes and you're ready to break!""Just don't let Katse find out.If he puts these on us or even threatens to you can kiss your top secrets goodbye!""Not funny Ken."" If Katse promises to eliminate every tailor who designs them I'll trade our secrets!""Joe!"

Nambu rolled his eyes and gave up.Teenagers will after all be just that. It didn't matter whether or not they were also superheroes.Special ops team aside his boys were just that; boys.Nothing more nothing less.He was proud of them just the same.And not just for saving the world day in and day out.But in their personal lives as well.Joe, at nineteen was a world famous stock racer who in his brief two-year exposure to the sport boasted an armful of trophies and a sizeable bank account.No mean feat for his young age!

His slightly younger commander though often broke and not as well off financially, was an accomplished test pilot and owned his own airfield from which he managed a small but successful airmail delivery service. 

Nambu couldn't be prouder if they were his real sons.So if they hated tuxes?Oh well.And yet that humored him tonight.And tonight he intended to show them off.Of course not as KNT.Their identities as such had to remain hidden.But as Ken Washio and Joe Asakura, his foster children, he could!

The limo rolled in front.At the sight of the old and jaded rich both Ken and Joe groaned audibly.This would be the worst battlefield they'd ever engaged.They took a deep breath as they filed out, all three nodding thanks to Nambu's chauffeur bodyguard, who was a ninja as well.Not in their league, but quite adequate to the task.He was a former Yakuza.One of the few to successfully leave that society.His name was GoJu .Both Ken and Joe had known him for ten years now.Though Joe no longer even remembered that night it was Goju along with Nambu that had rescued the injured eight-year-old off of B.C. Island.

Once inside the grand ballroom they put on a mask of sorts as they dutifully shook hands smiling and nodding in interest as dignitary after dignitary examined them as if they were an exotic species.The only highlight to the evening being Director Anderson himself.They genuinely liked the older man.He was like a grandfather to them and the only one in the room besides Nambu who knew them for the Eagle and Condor of the KNT.

To relieve boredom Joe snuck a little more champagne than he probably should have with tomorrow being a race day and all.Gut it was afterall the only way one could tolerate these affairs.Even Ken relented and drank a glass after the fifth rich widow pinched his cheeks or swatted his behind.Joe snickered as the last one, a very round bottomed and buxom brunette sauntered off."It's your chubby cheeks!""Nani??"Ken punched his arm hard as Joe continued to laugh. "YURERO!""Ken!"Ken turned and looked at Nambu who had never been so mortified in his life and nodded an apology at Anderson who stood just behind their mentor.The older man laughed it off and they all joined in, even Nambu.

One dignitary watched them from afar.Until recently the night had been a waste.Undercover for Galactor he'd been assigned to snoop.Surely, Katse had thought, a bunch of tipsy ISO members would let something slip.Especially with as much of the spiked champagne as they imbibed.But no! The only thing that had managed to slip thus far was their sexual inhibitions. Until now. The gem of the evening was the news that Nambu would be serving on the pit crew of his eldest foster child during the race tomorrow.That child was none other than the famous driver Joe Asakura.All of ISO were raving over the prospect of seeing the stoidHakase in overalls and elbow deep in grease.Katse would rave at the chance to finally get to Nambu once and for all.

The night finally ended.In the limo on the way home, bow ties and cummerbunds flew in wild abandonment as half undressed ninjas finally relaxed."It really wasn't that bad was it?""I don't know, can I file a sexual harassment charge in the morning?""Now Ken they were just slightly drunk is all.""Slightly horny you mean!""They're just fascinated with your chubby....Ow!"Ken glared at Joe staring with satisfaction at the trickle of blood from Joe's lip."Not one more word Joe!""Why you...""That's enough!Ken that is no way to discipline and Joe, shut up!Their frustrated growls in response made Nambu's head ache.He had drank more champagne than he was accustomed to and was grateful for the silencethe rest of the way home.

As they got out Joe couldn't resist "Tomorrow morning7 a.m. sharp! And in overalls Hakase!""Why so blasted early?The race isn't until ten.""Pit crew and drivers need to check in early!Be glad I didn't insist on being there for the coffee and donuts at six!""Fine. Just please bring me some Excedrin and earplugs!" Joe laughed and as he got within inches of his car he couldn't resist a parting shot to Ken as well."See you in the morning chubby cheeks!""What? K'so! YOU....."All Ken got was the roar of engines and the squeeling of tires in response.Shouting curses he got on his bile.Joe had better just hope that this particular pit crewmember didn't screw with his car in retaliation.

The next day it was everything Nambu expected.A lot of noise and the nauseating smell of car fumes and grease.Lots of both!It would have been intolerable on a normal day let alone one on which he wass hung over.He was not totally unaware that Joe had drunk way too much more than he should have either and so was both surprised and annoyed that Joe wasn't hung over.The annoyance increased when he purposely spoke louder than necessary and revved the car needlessly just to torture him.

"I hope you're happy Joe.All of ISO is in the bleachers today enjoying this!"Ken spun around."All of ISO! Who told them you'd be here?" "I did" "Are you crazy! What if a Galactor agent overheard?""That was an ISO function Ken.""Like ISO has never been infiltrated?""You have a point. It's a moot point now however, the damage is already done."Joe looked annoyed. "Ease off Ken. And here everyone thinks I'm insubordinate!""Joe this is important. An attempt could be made on him here" "Aniki there's too many people here, even Galactor has to realize that""Jinpei since when has that been an issue with them?How many cities have they laid waste already?Do you really think crowds are a deterring factor to them?" "Well duh! You're right Ken.""If all of ISO is in the stands?""You've got the picture Jun.If an agent of Galactor was there last night and overheard Nambu today is a prime opportunity that Katse will not let pass him.Everyone will have to be on their guard today.""I'm sorry Ken""It's alright Hakase.In the future though I think alcohol should be banned from such affairs."Joe gave an amused snort."Aw Ken, just cause some tipsy ladies saw fit to pinch your cheeks?""Joe!""All four of them!"Ryu played in perfectly at this point. "Four?He's only got two, a right and a left cheek.""Your forgetting the butt cheeks."Ryu and Jinpei both cracked up at this while Jun gave Ken a questioning look.Blushing a nice shade of red Ken's eyes narrowed."You're dead Joe"Joe merely laughed as he rolled up his window to join the other cars lined up behind the lap car.After staring daggers at him a few minutes longer Ken addressed the others."I mean it, stay frosty!"

Katse wasn't playing around.This was his once in a lifetime chance to eliminate the entire worlds leadership.To hell with the civilian lives that would also be affected.He ordered up the biggest mecha their factories had on hand.In that huge oval with thousands of panicking spectators and press, the pit crewss and racers it would be easy to get Nambu and the other ISO members trapped in the stampede.Even if Gatchaman was down there they'd find it very difficult to get out.If the idiots were expecting a single assassin this was sure to shock them to reality.

Half way through the race Joe pulled over for a quick check and joked with his pit crew, especially its chief, Steve.Over the last two years they'd formed a close bond.Outside of the team and Ken he could be counted Joe's closest friend.

Although being a part of the pit crew was honorary only Nambu was nonetheless covered with grease and he didn't look happy which made Joe immensely happy.Steve agreed that Nambu was way out of place here."This father of yours looks more like the suit and tie type to me Joe." "Add a lab coat and you've just described his daily attire.""Man must love you then.""Nah, he just owes me big time!""My father owes me big time too but you wouldn't catch him dead down here." Joe laughed something he was doing a lot of lately and something he wasn't too used to.Steve closed the hood of his car."She's doing just fine Joe so you can go back out any time you'd like!""I figured she was but she's not my car so I thought I better be sure.""You must love your foster father too to have given up your car in favor of this one.""I'm in third now so for an experimental nightmare she's not doing too badly.""That's more a testament to your driving skills if you ask me."Joe glanced at Ken who stood with the others some distance apart.If he won this race he could make his brother eat his words."Time to finish this race, see ya later Steve!"Steve waved as mere seconds later Joe was already a distant spot on the track.

Nika ran playfully up and down the stairs of the bleachers.Her long dark hair streamed out behind her.Sitting at the end of the row Nika's parents smiled indulgently.After all, the track was no place for a little girl.That she was this well behaved was a blessing.She waved up at them and they returned it with one of their own as laughing she again raced the wind upwards.

Not so far away in the stands Anderson and his fellow ISO seat holders watched alternately the blur of cars and the stats board.Joe had inched up now to number two, and in an experimental car to boot.The boy really was good!Yet the real entertainment was below and to the right as Nambulooked aghast at the spreading grease over most of his torso.His nose was wrinkled in distaste and they all trained binoculars on him like sick voyeurs enjoying his discomfort.

Nambu looked up to the stands feeling that sixth sense that he was being watched."They're enjoying this!""Of course they are.This is so far out of your comfort zone who wouldn't?"Nambu shook his head that was spinning from way too much champagne the previous night combined with the smell and noise of fifty plus engines.He regarded Ken solemnly." I am sorry about last night.Normally I'm not so loose lipped and never drink that much if at all.I'm usually a lot more discreet.""It was the champagne.""That's what I said.""No, I mean even after one I felt strangely compelled to drop my mask and cuss those ladies out.""You think the champagne was spiked?""Are those ladies usually given to pinching the behinds of young men? Or is that the normal activity of a diplomats wife?""If your suspicions are well founded..." They both looked around them uneasily. "Then we're in trouble sir because with this many people there is no way we can guarantee the safety of all of ISO."Ken turned to the rest of the team who were horsing around."Ryu, Jinpei I want you two keeping tabs on Anderson now."He addressed Nambu then. "Jun and I are sticking with you. The rest of ISO will have to depend on their own bodyguards.You two have priority.Lets just hope no one in the crowd gets caught in the crossfire."

A strange fluttering of nerves made Nambu's stomach do flip-flops that had nothing to do with a hangover.Ken was right.None of the diplomats had been themselves last night.And if the champagne was tampered with he could be sure a spy was in place to catch the secrets loosened lips would spill.What else might have been said?He looked to the innocent bystanders with more than a little guilt.Stray bullets could just as easy take out quite a few lives here today.Damn my mouth!

No one had seen its approach at first.Every one was so enrapt now in the race.The drivers were at the last five laps and their favorite Joe Asakura had taken the lead!The crowds went wild!Especially the female contingent. In the hubbub no one even heard its approach.Not until the ominous shadow covered the track did heads turn.There were no storm predictions where did the cloud come from?In disbelief the masses screamed in panic at the sight of the huge mecha.

Joes ears had been conditioned to distinguish between the roar of the G2 engines and the sound of enemy craft that he automatically looked up.By the time he brought his wrist communicator up it had already fired the first volley."K'so!"Joe slammed the gas pedal and did a fast 180-degree turn heading back to the pit and the others.Most of the racers had frozen in panic.Those few who didn't have enough sense to anything but continue forward were easy to dodge.He was almost about to make it when a missile landed a little too close to the car.The impact sent him in an uncontrolled roll toward the stands.

Nika fell down the steps from the vibration of the stands.Up above her the top half of the bleachers were no more.Everything was engulfed in flames and smoked.She screamed and cried as frantic people kicked or stepped on her, oblivious to everything but their need to escape.

Ryu bodily grabbed Anderson and another ISO member and rushed toward the back of the stands where he'd have a straight run to the edge of the woods where he had hidden the phoenix. Jinpei ran ahead of him clearing a path through the frightened people.More explosions and screams of the dying filled their ears.

Ken and Jun likewise pulled Nambu behind them, also rushing toward the phoenix.Nambu hesitated and looked back toward the track where flames danced high in the sky.He remembered the wreck of racing cars piledone on top the other."Joe!"Ken was insistent."Well come back for him later.It's imperative to get you out first!""But what about the people?""We can help them better from the Phoenix."As they ran Goju appeared ahead of them. "Goju find Joe and get him out of there!""Yes sir!"Nambu allowed himself to be pulled along then confident that if anyone could do it it would be Goju.

Steve watched with eyes frozen in shock as the car bearing Joe's trademark number careened into the stands nothingmore than a junk pile now.Already its back end was in flames.He rushed madly to get to his friend's side and pull him out before the inevitable explosion.He could see when he reached him what bad shape he was in. "Joe?"No response.Blood was everywhere! There was no time to be gentle about this, if he didn't get Joe out now they would both go up in smoke with the gas tank and have a wild ride to hell together.He tugged.There was resistance at first then Joe slipped free of the harness.Steve didn't get him far before the car blew.He covered Joe with his own body then as a tremendous force hit his back and something sharp tore at his neck.And yet another missile hit the stands its explosion rocking the entire vicinity.But this Steve was unaware of.For him the ordeal had ended.

Goju saw it all.Both Steve and Joe were covered in flames.He reacted quickly choking back the fumes.Using his jacket he managed to douse the fire. He screamed Joe's name in an effort to rouse him.The pain already had.Blearily Joe tried to focus his eyes.There was a weight on him that he rolled under to dislodge.Something rolled away from its main mass.He followed the shape to where it rested face up.Eyes stared unseeing at him.Steve's eyes, Steve's head!He screamed as he realized that the weight had been his friend's lifeless body.It was charred beyond recognition.Other screams joined his own.The screams of a panicked people. Screams of pain, death cries, cries for help as the mecha above continued its assault. Damn you Ken get airborne already and stop that thing!He focussed lastly on Goju who looked almost unrecognizable from the soot."We've got to help them!""There's nothing we can do Joe san."

"Not down here we can't!But get me to the Phoenix and I'll blow the shit out of it! They're dying damn it!Look around you!"

They both did.Wherever their eyes fell the story was the same.Hundreds lay pinned under debris, or ran about like living torches.Bodies were strewed about like broken dolls while the living crouched in fear crying for deliverance or lost loved ones.Among the cacophony a small voice rose above the others.Joe craned his neck glancing wildly about to locate its source. Goju watched him concerned.The boy was fast going into shock from the trauma and burns.The scene took him back to ten years ago on the beach and a badly burned eight year old held in Nambu's arms.Who would be cruel enough he had wondered then to have thrown a bomb point blank at a child? He was angry now.Some of the dead here at Galactors hand were also children!Gingerly he scooped Joe up in his arms.He needed to get him medical attention now!

In Gojus arms Joe continued to scan the area.One cry pulled at him above the others.All the cries had a desperate quality that Joe knew he's never be able to block out from his memory for the rest of his life.Neither could he ever hope to shut out the sight.This is what our bombs do?This is wars reality!It was something they had never seen from the Phoenix' cockpit."Mamma, Pappa!"The cries echoed his own.The present faded into the past as yet again he was a small child playing blissfully on the edge of the shore.Trying to finish his sandcastle before the waves did.His world was turned upside down when two single gunshots announced the end of his parents.The assassin had laughed.He couldn't remember what happened next.Only the pain, then and now.

"Momma! Poppa!"Where was that cry coming from??Joe searched his head craning as far as he could in Gojus firm grasp.It sounded like a little girl. There!Among the fallen dead at the ruins of a section of bleachers a small child sat crying and dazed. His voice hoarse from the smoke he pleaded with Goju."Save her!""Nani?""To your left, the little girl.""There's no time for that Joe san, you are my priority!""That's an order Goju!If you can't than I will!I'll carry her!""You can't even carry yourself!We cant save them all."In a small voice reflecting his sadness Joe concurred."But we can save her."Goju nodded in understanding for the terrible tragedy in it all.He set Joe down gently and retrieved the girl.

Nika kicked at the stranger like momma had told her to.Never go with a stranger anywhere she had said.But the man was very strong and ignored her efforts.She continued her struggles until he set her beside a badly burned racer.She knew him!He was the man on the poster her mom had in her bedroom!It was Joe Asakura!Her mom was his number one fan.His blue grey eyes, much more vivid in person entreated her to stop.She did.In a voice that was almost gone he asked her to go with them to safety.Mom said she shouldn't go with strangers but she knew Joe so he couldn't be a stranger.Timidly she nodded and allowed herself to be carried piggyback by the man who drug her over here while he carried Joe.

High above the Phoenix engaged.But the mecha proved uninterested as it continued its assault on the track below.Ken slammed his fist on the panel in front of him. "Damn it Katse!Its us you want, leave them alone!"In answer Katse's face filled their screens suddenly.As usual he laughed like a maniac as he revealed in his latest attack."Watch them all die Gatchaman! Your precious Nambu and every last member of ISO, including Anderson!Whatever will you do without their leadership?"At that moment Nambu and Anderson came to the forward screen for Katse to see them.Nambu angrily shouted up at his visage, "I'm right here you idiot! Its me you want, so come and get me!""Nani? Oh well, at least we are sure to have eliminated some of the delegates.""What you've done is kill hundreds if not thousands of civilians!""This is war Nambu Hakase." "Yes, and innocents lay dead because of you!""Au Contraire!Because of you Nambu Hakase.We are at war and you are a prime target, or did you forget that when you chose to present yourself in public?It is past time that your children received a wake up call on what war is really about!Never mind, it would seem our targets are no longer accessible so we will retreat now.""What??Like hell you will!Turn around and fight us you coward!"Katse laughed at Ken."Another day Gatchaman.This one is mine!I have no intention of letting you spoil it by defeating my mecha.Do you know how hard these are to come by? You have two choices chase me or rescue the survivors."

The transmission ended then as they watched a rapidly disappearing mecha.Ryu looked over to Ken. "Orders" Filled with impotent rage Ken shook his head.Katse was right damn him!They had a duty to the survivors.And there was still Joe.He was still in that inferno. "We do what we can for the survivors Ryu.Joe?"There was only static at first then Gojus voice could be heard."I have him! We are boarding an ISO evac copter now."Nambu grabbed at Ken's wrist speaking into the communicator."How is he?""Alive but hurt badly.""Take care of him Goju.We'll assist the rescue units as much as we can then head back ourselves.Thank you old friend."They all sighed in relief.Anderson lay a heavy hand on Nambu's shoulders. "It's not your fault.""Oh but it is.""I refuse to allow you to bear this burden.""You can't refuse whats already there."

Hours later parked in the hospital's waiting room the tired ninjas watched as news reports filtered in.Nothing official yet, but the estimates were bad enough.300 dead so far and well over 2000 injured, half of that were critical. Yet another 500 were still unaccounted for.The team, those of ISO present, including Anderson and Nambu bowed their heads.The atmosphere was heavy.One of those critically injured was their own Condor.According to Goju one of the dead was Joe's best friend Steve.Of the 500 missing one that they had accounted for lay dozing in Jun's arms.What to do about Nika was in the back of all their minds.

In deference to the way the team felt one of the nurses shut the TV off.It was at that time that the facilities top surgeon entered the room dressed in bloody scrubs.By mutual consent the rest hung back as Nambu and Ken addressed him. In deference Ken let Nambu do the talking."How is he?""Stable. There were some internal injuries that had to be repaired, nothing major.Some deep bruising to the spine, but again nothing to be concerned over.Mostly what we are concerned with is the extensive amount of burns to his legs.Most are third and fourth degree. He'll require debriedment and a series of skin grafts.As soon as he comes out of anesthesia and the recovery unit announces him stable enough we'll be transferring him to the burn unit.""Can we see him?""Just yourself for now until he is in his room and only for a few minutes."Ken looked as though he were about to protest and Nambu put a restraining hand on his shoulder."There are things the staff will need to be doing for him until he wakes up.Too many visitors will only get in the way."Ken nodded in reluctant understanding and returned to the rest to give them the news while Nambu followed after the surgeon.

Though he knew what to expect Nambu was still taken back.Mostly it was a case of Deja Vu.He found himself staring at a small boy instead hooked up to the same amount of machinery suffering from the same amount of burns.It was as though they had both come full circle.Lightly he ran a hand through Joe's hair while studying the monitors.The readouts were all good.In the long run Joe would be all right.If he could get past the painful debriedment process that lay ahead of him that is.He'd done it before, he'd do it again.Again.Guilt overwhelmed Nambu as he remembered what landed the child here the last time.My fault.It was my urging that caused his parents to defect and my tardiness that caused their deaths.It was my mouth that caused Joe to be in this race and my mouth that let it slip that I'd be there watching!My mouth that bragged in him as my son and my mouth that put him here! Again!Silently he cried.

Joe came to a good three hours later and having been pronounced stable enough was transferred to his room.The burn unit had a smell of its own that his memory never erased.Back again.His whole world was pain.Within that pain was the memory of other peoples suffering.Echoes of blood curdling screams tore at his mind as well as the sight of the many dead.As well as Steve.This was the flipside of war.God I want out of it!He blinked his eyes against the bright of the hospital lights and got his bearings.He was lying sideways to relieve most of the pressure off his badly burned legs.Beside him he found himself staring at Nambu who was stretched out in the chair next to him.In another chair Ken was sound asleep and snoring loudly.Ryu was curled into a ball on the floor also asleep while Jun and Jinpei amused themselves on an adjacent bed playing cards.

Damn, he thought my throat feels like sandpaper. "K'so, Ken! Ken!"His normally deep bass was a whispery croak.Ken continued to snore but he had managed to successfully rouse Nambu."Joe?""Can I have some water?""I think your only allowed ice chips right now.Here try this."Nambu took a spoon and placed some small ice chips in his mouth.That was better."How many?""How many what?""How many died?"He looked into his sons troubled eyes and averted his own. "Too many."was his only quiet answer.Joe didn't press. "When's the funeral?""Nani?""Steve's.I want to go.""You're in no shape for that Joe, your burns are way too severe and you just came out of surgery.""Damn it!He was my best friend outside of this team, he died saving my miserable life when it was my stupid enemies that got him killed, my stupid fault and your telling me I can't even go to the funeral??""Its not that I don't want you to you just simply wont be well enough to.""Why?Damn it all, why did Galactor have to attack?They were innocent, civilians!""Why do they ever?""This wasn't some strategically located town or military base!It had no factories and wasn't an ISO facility, it was a race track!""It had one thing Joe.Thanks to my mouth it had all of ISO and myself.""Right, You , me and your prototype! A brief look of anger and grief clouded his features followed by guilt and self hate."Is this what happens every time we fire a bird missile?"You hardly fire on civilians.""No, but sometimes the missiles go astray don't they?""The cities threatened by mecha are generally evacuated before you even arrive.""Wrong!I've seen the dead bodies on reconnaissance.They're not 100% evacuated are they?""To the best of our knowledge...""To the best of...This is what happens isn't it? Those who are left who aren't killed instantly are either burnedor buried alive in the aftermath of either their missiles or ours!How many of ours Hakase?""Joe calm yourself!No one ever said war was pretty. You know better. You know the Galactor and what they did to your parents.You've always known the dark side of it even if it hasn't always looked you directly in the face.Today you saw what its like on the front lines and it is bad!I've been there myself.I fought in the third world war and I know how ugly it can get! It hurts and I know this is cliche but time will heal it.And it is not your fault! That infamy lies with me."

Joe controlled his breathing.He wanted to cry and hated himself for it.He was stronger than that. Who was to blame?He wanted to blame Hakase but would that be fair?So he was loose lipped, I'm the one who asked him to serve on the pit crew.I'm the one he came to see.Aren't I as equally deserving of the blame?

Ken began to stir. As he did Joe forced himself to calm. For once he was glad of his smoke-damaged throat, it would hide the huskiness of emotion."About time you woke up sleeping beauty, your snores were beginning to sound like that of a pigs!""Hello yourself!"Another commotion revealed Ryu finally stirring as well.Jun and Jinpei who had respectfully remained quiet throughout his and Nambu's emotional outbursts joined them at Joe's side."Aniki's voice sounds like mine did when I hit puberty!""You haven't hit puberty yet you little runt!""Aniki's just fine, he's his usual charming self!"Joe took an affectionate swing at Jinpei's head wincing at the pull of the IV in his arm and the protest of his sore back muscles."You'll have to take it easy Joe."As the anesthesia wore off Joe was experiencing the full brunt of the pain now."What's the damage?""Some internal injuries that were surgically repaired as well as a badly bruised spine. Third and fourth degree burns over most of your legs.""Great down time in the burn unit! I missed it so much! I can feel it too!""I'll ask the nurse to give you something for pain.""Make sure its morphine and lots!""I don't know about the lots part of it but we'll see what she can do."

As he left Joe turned his eyes toward Ken."Great!This is going to be so much fun.I really had a blast the last time.""You got through it then and you'll do it again.""Again?"Joe laughed at Ryu."Yes again."Ken explained a bit further."The last time was when his parents were killed and he was caught in the explosion.""Was that when the kindhearted pilot picked you up?""What kind hearted pilot are you talking about Jinpei?""You know, the one that picked you up.When you were hurt saving that puppy Ken told us all about it."Joe gave Ken a lopsided look one eyebrow raised wondering at that.Besides Nambu, Ken knew the real story, so why bother fabricating it?Back then it made sense because there were those who wanted him dead, actually there were plenty who wanted him dead without all of that so what was the difference if any one knew or not?Joe shrugged, if Ken still felt there was a need to hide it,"Oh that pilot."Ken smiled at him before continuing."Anyway he had some real nasty burns then and spent the better part of the year recovering.But they have new methods of regenerating the skin so it shouldn't be as long a stay this time around.""They still have to debrieded and that's a son of a ..."

"Ah, you're awake!""Speaking of deja vu, if it isn't the same doctor I had back then."Joe glance up at Dr. Brascole surprised to find the old coot still alive and working."You must have a predilection for serious injuries, its either that or you enjoyed our company so much you had to pay us a visit.""Same old wry sense of humor.""I know you all would love to talk with him longer but I need to examine my patient.""This could wait you know.""I said examine so you can relax, none of the ouchy stuff at this time.""I'm not nine years old any more, you don't have to sugar coat it!""You'd be surprised.Some of the worst babies are men.""Not this one!" "Howsoever, I Do need to take a look and this is not for the squeamish."He looked pointedly at Jun and Jinpei.The former took such umbrage with this that Joe was forced to chuckle at her obvious chagrin against his inference that merely because she was a woman she'd be particularly squeamish."Jun don't go off on him ok?Burns not only look repulsive they smell bad as well, even I get sick."She smiled warm encouragement to Joe and led the others out giving the doctor one of her frostier looks satisfied when he got the message.

Weeks later the repercussions began to be felt.Anti war groups rallied around the tragedy maintaining the KNT and ISO were just as guilty as the Galactor.Enraged families picked up on this and demanded satisfaction from Anderson.Every news bulletin on TV vilified Nambu.How dare such a prominent target present itself in public?

Meanwhile security continued its investigation of the party while Anderson held numerous press conferences allaying the allegations and fears of the masses.Security had no problem in tracking down the spy, nor in acquiring samples of the residue in the champagne glasses to discover the presence of sodium penathol, otherwise known as the truth serum.In spite of this revelation and Anderson's encouraging words Nambu refused to be consoled.It was a serious breach of security and security was but one of his many functions.He stubbornly refused to have either the blame or weight of what happened taken off of his shoulders.

Joe also began to sink even deeper into depression.Instead of opening up and talking about the deaths he withdrew.Some of it could be attributed to the lengthy and painful process of debriedment or to the amounts of morphine offered to help with it.It could even be chalked up to the normal response of a typically active individual cooped up in a hospital bed surrounded by the same white walls.Either way his friends did their best to shake him out of it.But Joe refused to either be cheered or to even discuss its cause.

Another dilemma was that no one still knew what to do about Nika.Obviously Crescent City was no place for a little girl unless she was a ninja, and Nambu was adamant that he would not be doing that again.Raising them had been a challenge enough for him to last a lifetime!So the hunt for a suitable family began.Institutions were out.The constant strikes by Galactor had overcrowded the majority of them, and while most agencies were good there were always those ones that boasted horror stories of abuse and neglect.Having been there and done that both Jun and Jinpei were strongly opposed to the idea.Besides which they had all become attached.It was going to be hard letting their little sister go.

Currently Nika sat on the barstool at Snack J sipping a chocolate shake while Jinpei packed a lunch for Joe.Now that the doctors upgraded his diet to regular his appetite had faded.Since hospital food wasn't enough to stimulate a healthy person's taste buds, Jun suggested home cooked meals.Jinpei promised Nika she could go with him to see Joe.Maybe if he could focus on their one victory that day.....

Ryu burst in then."I'm starving!"Jinpei rolled his eyes. "And this is news?""Ha-ha!Where's Jun?""In the kitchen.""Oh no, she isn't cooking is she?""She's doing inventory.Relax I'm still the cook!""Whew!Scare a guy why don't you.What's that?""Take out for Joe so quit drooling.It's nothing fancy, just a deli style sandwich, dill pickle, home made chicken noodle soup and a tossed salad.Oh and a chocolate cake for desert!"Ryu licked his lips.Through the whole dissertation he had done nothing but drool.Nika tugged at his sleeve and he looked down at her. "I got to frost it!""Did you save some for me?""There's lots left!""For paying customers Ryu.""Hey don't confuse me with Ken!""So order already, but eat fast because Jun and I are closing shop to take this to Joe.""Fine!Give me the special.""Which one?""All of them!""Pig!""Oink oink.I'm a sumo. so I have to eat big.""That's an excuse for overindulgence if you ask me.""I didn't. Gotta keep up my strength!""Yeah. To tote around that big belly of yours.""Keep it up squirt!"

The door opened again and Ken entered.Having just come from the hospital and having endured Joe's oppressive gloom he was elated to see some one with some spirit."I'm hungry!How's my bill?""Large!As in as large as the empire state building!""I paid last week!""That amounted to only 5% of what you owe!Jun will kill me if I give in Aniki."Nika gave him a hug. "You can have my lunch Aniki""Nika you're sweet.""Nika you're nuts! Ken's a mooch!""But he's your big brother and your boss too.""He's still a mooch."

Jun came out than with her hands on her hip. "Uh huh Ken. Don't you dare intimidate Jinpei again.Pay up or scram.""You're cruel.What if I pass out from starvation the next mission?Who will lead you then?""We'll break out the violins and let Joe go missile happy!""Joe's still laid up in the hospital and you wouldn't let him fire those missiles anyway.""Then I'll get my chance to shine, won't I?"Jinpei chose that moment to set a plate heaped high with steaming hot food. "You're feeding him!""He pays!Eat up Ryu we want to go see Joe sometime this year."

Joe stared up at the ceiling morosely.How many?They've fought now a full year and how many of those battles ended up this way.How many innocent people lay dead because of him and his much-joked about itchy trigger finger on the bird missiles.How many orphans did we help Galactor make?While the Phoenix had finally arrived to confront the mecha it had continued its reign of terror on the people below.He had watched the video footage replay over and over again on every news channel.How many of the missiles fired by the Phoenix were deflected off the mecha and found its way into the crowd?Did a bird missile take out Nika's parents or Steve?"He squeezed his eyes shut against the pain while the haunting echoes continued to play itself out in his head.Help us, please!Stop firing!Put out the fire!Dear God I'm burning! Save us somebody!"Shut up! Shut up!"

A nurse walked in. "Are you alright sir?""Yes.... I'm just.... fine."He turned his head away the very act causing him to flinch."Do you need anything for pain?""No damn it!Can't I have a nightmare without someone walking in pushing pills?Can't I have a little damn privacy?""I'm sorry sir!"The door closed behind her and Joe sighed.It wasn't her fault.He'd have to apologize later.Why? How many?They were questions he couldn't get out of his head.He wondered at something else that he had never thought of before.Largely because of his thirst for vengeance against them, but just how many orphans had he made of the children of Galactor.Weren't they humans too?Soldiers following orders the way that we do.Isn't that the argument on CNN now?Aren't we as equally to blame in this war?Doesn't it take two to fight one?And how many dead before both parties give up.And because we can't and they won't how many more will pay the price?

His friends entered the room having been forewarned by the nurse of his general mood.Ken had nodded in understanding.He had been here for the start of it.Joe quickly put his guard up.He was getting quite good at masking his feelings."Ciao""Chow?Funny you should say that because that's just what I brought you.""Jinpei ciao is Italian for hello.""I knew that!"Ryu smacked the back of his head. "Sure you did!"They all took various seats next to his bed while Ken took the closest one.By the look in his eye Joe could sense an impending lecture so focussed his attention on the food Jinpei lay before him with feigned interest."So what did you bring?""Behold a feast fit for a king, or at least a hungry condor!"Nika gazed at her hero with adoring eyes."I frosted the cake all by myself!""You did?Well I'll be sure to eat that first!""No!You have to eat the main course first.That's what momma always use to say!"For a few moments her face fell at the memory of her mother.Joe smiled sadly.How she was holding up was beyond him.She was only nine, just a year older than he'd been when he lost his parents.He never remembered being this brave.He spoke up to divert her mood. "Well if momma says then that's just what I'll have to do!"He took a bite of the sandwich to humor her.He really had no appetite.

After a time and several light hearted banter Jun sensed that Ken wanted to be alone with Joe. "As much as I enjoy the break from the bar we won't earn any money by keeping it closed any longer.We have to make up the difference for certain non paying customers in any case!""Jun if I did pay up you'd have a coronary and I would be down one team member so in the interest of the global good my tab will have to stand.""At least you get credit for the worst excuse of the month. We'll see you two later.Come on Ryu!""I don't have to work.""I'm sure you're still hungry.""Actually..." Joe cut in."Ken wants to lecture my head off so Jun is being tactful in trying to get you to leave.""Oh!"He left behind them in a hurry closing the door behind him.

"Am I that obvious?""You do get this certain look.""So what's up with you?Why don't you snap out of it already!""Snap out of what?""It's not your fault!""The hell it wasn't!""Not yours or Hakase's.""Isn't it?We go around flaunting ourselves in public knowing that we're walking targets and take the shooting gallery to a densely populated place and we're not to have some sense of responsibility?""There was a spy at that function and the champagne was spiked.No one could have foreseen that.Hakase wasn't thinking when he told some of ISO that he'd be at that race.He was proud of you and wanted them to know it.Are you, he or any of us suppose to live the lives of a hermit?We sacrifice enough as it is! You'd add more restrictions than what we already impose on ourselves?""As opposed to what happened, yes!""What happened was a tragedy but it wasn't your fault!""Those deaths were senseless!""So is this whole goddamned war! Just remember Joe that we didn't choose this, they did.""It takes two to make a war though.""You're listening to way too much media Joe.""They have a point.""So the next time a mecha attacks and we choose not to go because it takes two to fight what do you think will happen? Do you think they'll turn around because it takes two?Be rational! How many during World War 2 hold back with that in mind as long as they did while Hitler marched the Jews through his gas chambers?Sometimes it only takes one Joe.Just one meglomaniac and what you have is terrorism.You have two choices, you either surrender to it, or pray that your new master is merciful, or you fight back.You can call it war or whatever but its really just choices.It's not a question of right or wrong often.It's survival.Shades of gray.Sometimes to both sides its as clear as black and white but most often it fades somewhere in between and innocent people die.They're the gray that gets caught in between.The children drafted by their country's leaders don't get say on either side as to what's right or wrong.They're the soldiers who obey orders and die for the cause, whether its the right one or not, whether its clearly black or white or not they're the ones and civilians that pay with their lives.Our job in this war Joe is to do the best we can to minimize the damage to the civilians, be they Galactors or ours.But we're only human, we can't save them all!In this war we have to focus on what's black and white.That's defending earth from Katse and whomever the mysterious power behind him is.While doing that we can only do our best to protect whoever gets caught between us.Don't confuse the issues Joe and blame yourself for something that was out of your hands."

"Was this my lecture of the day then?"Ken lay back in the chair looking at him with a tired expression. "Call it what you want Joe.In the long run only you can resolve this in your mind.You've got to deal with your grief in your own way.But please don't let it consume you. Don't let it eat at you and destroy you because there's been way too much destruction already."

Joe watched quietly while he left.He then closed his eyes as tears ran freely down his cheeks.A lot of what Ken said made sense and got through, but it didn't lessen the pain or erase the voices in his head.Neither did it make him feel any less guilty.But it was food for thought.And thinking was beginning to be a habit now with him.Before this he'd have never given the missiles another thought.Now?He not only wanted to rethink priorities but also debated his whole role on the team.

Within the following three weeks Joe was released.The latest regeneration methods of his tissue had proved to be a success.There was still some grafting needed and his muscles were weak and required therapy but all that could be done on an outpatient basis.

His first act out was to visit Steve's gravesite.As he neared the grave a young woman lay a bouquet of flowers down.He started to leave and give her privacy but she called out his name surprising him.He noticed that it was Janet, Steve's fiancé.

"Joe?""Janet.""I heard you'd been injured.""I only just got out.""It's been almost two months, you must have been hurt bad!""Some major burns.I'm sorry about Steve.He died saving my life you know.""No I didn't. No one said.""They should of!He was a hero!That should have been me in that grave!""He loved you, you know."Joe turned away to hide the emotion on his face."Outside of my family he was the closest....K'so! Damn Galactor to hell!""There are those who say damn ISO and your father.""And you?Would Steve have?"He asked suddenly with a burning need to know.She looked down at her feet unsure at first how to answer him.She didn't miss the pain in his voice or the self-hate."At first I got caught up in the popular tide of pointing fingers and laying blame.But why?We didn't ask for this war or for a bunch of terrorists and a would be Hitler to destroy our cities in a vain attempt at world domination.And is it really fair to say that just because he's a wanted man that Kozuburo Nambu should drop out of the society he's dedicated his and his team's life to protect?There's only one man who gave the order to attack and only one man in the long run whose really to blame and that's Berg Katse!Steve would never have assigned blame to anyone but him.No I don't blame either your father or ISO or the KNT.And I don't blame you!Neither would Steve.It's war Joe, and it just hit home.That's all.And blame doesn't bring back the dead.It won't bring back Steve."

Joe was silent at first, fingering the tombstone."Nonetheless I'll never race again.""What? Why?""I'm Nambu's son, wasn't I as much a target as him? He was there to watch me!" "I just told you whose to blame Joe, don't be ridiculous!How many races have you entered with no mishaps?""It was inevitable that it happened.And it will happen again.They know our relationship now, what if they try to get to him through me? My very presence could endanger any one I'm around.""Then do what you feel is right.But personally I feel your being drastic.Racing is your life!If you listen hard can't you just hear Steve rolling over in his grave?You're not the only one hurting you know!And its not just the thousands of lives effected here, but the whole world felt this tragedy!We're all survivors and that's all we can do is survive.Think about it Joe before ruining your life.Racing is too big a part of you to throw away for the likes of Galactor!"

Nambu sat in ISO's officers lounge drinking. Like Joe, he too was haunted by the memories of the dead.In his nightmares they all rose up and pointed accusing fingers in his direction.But that was all right because his own finger was pointed at himself.

"So compound things why don't you and drink some more!"He whirled around angrily and somewhat unsteadily at the speaker.""Anderson!""This is how you address your superior?""Ah yes. I'm sorry.""Not as sorry as you're going to be if this continues any longer!""I do have time off you know.""You also have a position to respect and a reputation to uphold.Part of that is maintaining a high profile and upstanding appearance at all times!""Well I've blown that recently!Too much of a high profile at others expense.""Damn it Kozuburo you've been exonerated from all that!""Not in my eyes.""You've been through enough battles to have accepted this as part of war.""There are dead people who'd descry that.Survivors who would reject that as just another excuse.""And there are enough dead war heroes, your friend Kentaro included, who'd come back from the grave to kick your self-pitying ass too!"

Nambu's eyes red from too many tears, too much alcohol and not enough sleep met Anderson's cold gaze, which suddenly softened and filled with a wisdom that could only come from age."We've known each other a long time my friend.You tend to shoulder things that aren't yours to shoulder.You needlessly blamed yourself for the Asakura's deaths.Even to the point of taking on the responsibility of raising their kid.""And damn near cost him his life too!He wouldn't have been racing this prototype if it weren't for me.He'd have been in the G2 and safe.""Nonsense!The prototype was a good design.A good concept and he was more than up to the challenge.""I could have stayed home.""You could have.But think how proud inside your son was to have you there.No one could have predicted the outcome of that day.""My lips should never have let it slip.""Sodium penathol will do that.It was unavoidable.""I could have stuck to the soda.""Which may also have been tampered with.""A lot of could have's but it doesn't change what did.""Exactly my point!So quit kicking yourself in the head.Do you want to atone?Then start with Joe.That boy has been wallowing in self-guilt worse than you.On board the Phoenix it's easier to cope with the battles.On the ground as a bystander in the midst of the thick of it one gets to see another side of war.It's not uncommon for even the toughest and most seasoned vet to be shell shocked.""I hadn't realized...""No, you've been too busy holding down barstools!If you weren't you'd have read the hospital reports.Major depression.And if you had made yourself more available you probably would have gotten the same report from Ken.Quit closing yourself off and stop this nonsense at once!Go do your job, starting with Joe."

Joe worked out with the weights re-strengthening his legs while watching the others go through their usual routines.A part of him itched to back up to par, but there was another part that never wanted to see action again.He was no coward.Fear had never entered his mind, at least not that kind of fear.He just didn't want to be in the position any more of choosing who gets to die with a push of a button.He no longer wanted the responsibility or conscience.Good thing he wasn't the leader then, they'd all be in trouble!Rationally speaking what they did had to be done.How does Ken shoulder it all?It made him suddenly want to be less of the jerk he'd acted in the past and listen more.He thought of every time his finger went to the bird missiles as the first course of action, and every time that Ken had stopped him with a better way.

Laughter drew his attention to a corner of the gym where Nika was practicing a few simple tumbles mimicking them.In spite of himself Joe's spirits lifted a little.If there was any joy to be claimed at all these days she was it. "Watch me!Watch me!" she cried.Everyone stopped what they were doing to comply as Nika attempted a headstand.Her first efforts were awkward, but she did it.She received an exaggerated round of applause."I'm going to get better at it, you'll see!And then I'll be just like you!"Everyone laughed loudly but Joe.Just like us huh?And just what is that?Killers, soldiers?We carry on half the time as if we were a bunch of normal teens but we're not.Killing people for a living isn't the normal activity of an adolescent.

Above them Nambu stepped into the observation room.He watched Nika's antics and the team's reactions.They were getting attached.Another thing he observed was Joe's reactions and facial expressions.Anderson was right.The hospital staff had diagnosed it correctly then.He was depressed.Patiently he waited until their session had ended before making his presence known.

"Joe?"They all looked up in surprise.His absence of late had been felt very deeply and to see him there now took them back a bit."Sir?""I'd like a moment alone with you please.""Here? Or in your office?""Here will be fine.Join me in the observation room please.The rest of you can see about overhauling your vehicles.""Roger."

He counted the seconds it took Joe to reach him."What is it?""How are you?"That question momentarily threw him."My legs are better.Their stronger each day.If I keep this up I should be back to work in two weeks.""I really didn't mean physically Joe.How are you...How are you handling Steve's death?"Joe answered cautiously."It hurts still.We were good friends.""Do you want to talk about what happened on the track that day?""Why?Is talking about it going to change what happened?""No. Nothing will ever do that.But it might help you to sort it out.The doctors say you're depressed.From what I've seen from up here I believe their right.""Aren't I entitled to be?""Sad yes.On a temporary basis that's normal especially given these circumstances.But continually for as long as its been going on isn't healthy.You've got to resolve it before it destroys you.""The way you are?By drinking every damn day??"The words were out.Joe hadn't meant to say them but there it was.

Nambu looked as if he'd just been struck."I didn't realize that you were keeping tabs on my social life.""Nothing social about it!Ken says you sit alone daily and drink.""Ken says!And if I do?Need I remind you that I am an adult!""So this is how adults deal with depression?You want me to deal with this then when are you going to?""Would you disagree that the blame for all this sits on my shoulders?""You wouldn't have even been there if it weren't for me.""And you wouldn't have been there either if I hadn't asked you to drive my prototype.Did you even want me there?"" That's my point, I shouldn't have.""But did You?"

Joe thought back to that day.Beyond just being happy at Nambu's discomfort there was something else.Pride.He'd never had what anyone could call a good relationship with Nambu. Growing up he's always been overshadowed by Ken, the golden child.For all intents and purposes this man legally anyway, was his father.While racing had been everything to Joe it had been a constant sore point with Nambu.He'd long frowned on his career as being unnecessarily dangerous.To have finally had Hakase acknowledge it by being a part of it that day filled him with an emotion the days events never gave him an opportunity to explore.He was overflowing with pride, happiness, love and a sense of accceptance from Nambu he'd never felt before.These were priceless things that the attack had marred.If he could turn back the hands of time and trade those feelings to have averted it, would he?A part of him cried yes!But he also knew that if someone had arrived that day with a crystal ball his cynical nature would have waved them away.He wanted Nambu there.The child in him that had long watched Ken bask in the attention needed that day in worst way!It may have indeed ended in the worst way, but that's not how it was intended.

He chose his words carefully."I was very happy you were there.And proud. Racing was always the one part of my life you never understood or approved of.An important part of my life and who I am.It wasn't planes or science or any of the things that always made you proud ofKen and Jun, or even Jinpei and Ryu.Those were areas of their life that you always took part of and had .... For you to have stepped in to my world for once......I would never have traded that day for anything!"

Nambu felt his heart go heavy with emotion and love.This was the closest Joe had ever come to him, the most he had ever opened up."It's not your fault Joe.Those were things you've been entitled to your whole life.Things I should have been doing long before now.""It's not your fault either Hakase.It's Katse's.""Maybe.But a part of me will always shoulder it any how.For your sakes I need to handle the weight better.You need to do the same.""That's not the only guilt I'm struggling with.""What else?""The bird missiles.Where do they land?Whose lives do we play God with?

Nambu nodded in deep thought.It was a question many a general often had in battle.No matter what decision was made, either right or wrong, someone invariably always paid the price."If you don't fire them Joe, someone else will.And if they don't then whose lives do we play God with when a mecha destroys entire cities?We do our best to evacuate the cities around any appearance of a Galactor attack.Sometimes we don't always have enough warning or maybe someone is missed.There is one given Joe.If you don't arise to the defense that includes at times the use of your missiles lives will be lost in any event.Risk the lives of a few or damn millions."

Joe absorbed that.It was an old argument but very true.There was no debating its logic.He listened patiently while Nambu continued. "Joe what you've seen down there was horrible beyond words.I never wanted any of you to be exposed to that but I've known that was incredibly naive of me.Sooner or later you were bound to discover the real ugliness that war is.And maybe some good will come out of this.It might temper your recklessness and thirst for vengeance a little.But as ugly as it is, war is here nonetheless.If we were all to turn suddenly pacifist I've got news for you.Slavery and tyranny are just as ugly!You are all fighting to prevent that.Death will continue to take its toll on both sides whether you personally step back or not.You're hard to replace Joe.You're damn good!If you do step down over this and I have to replace you with someone less skilled your very act of resignation could be said to cause deaths.Any of the choices you make in life can cause mishaps and death.If you walk the wrong way you might have missed an attempted murder you could prevent, if you turn the wheel of your car the wrong way you could hit and kill someone.I'm admittedly stretching a point here, but if you get wrapped up in the odds you'll become obsessed.Especially when it comes to war.I want you to start seeing a councilor on a regular basis to discuss this.""Optionary?""No.I'm going to make this an order.Whether or not any of what I said got through I don't know.I can make you hear me out, but listening is a whole different thing.""I listened.And I will think on it. I've been doing nothing but.""I don't want you obsessing on it though.We've both been doing way too much of that.I need to get it together and so do you.Dismissed.""Sir."

Weeks later Katse struck again.The city of New Detroit was under attack by what appeared to be a beetle.Nambu dispatched the team having reservations yet about Joe's readiness.The doctors had declared him physically fit and while the therapist stated there was progress he still seemed down to Nambu's trained eye.He raised the boy and could see beyond the various masks he erected.Silently he said a prayer for this mission as he did for everyone since the whole stupid war had begun.

Ken was tense as well.It was no secret that Nambu made Joe go to a shrink as he himself jokingly called the therapist.Nor was it any secret how Joe now felt about the war in general or the bird missiles.Often a lot of their missions depended on his aim with him.What if he froze?He couldn't afford for any of his team to do that.Especially Joe.

Ryu did a low swoop over the edge of the city.The attack came at night and the forces had no time to completely or quickly evacuate everyone.The sight was grim.Joe dug his fingers deeply into his console.They were dying down there.The city was in flames just like at the track.Joe's face was pale and his breathing ragged.He hoped Ken didn't notice.He did."Joe hold it together."He just had to bring everyone's attention to me.I'll get him later for that.He responded rather tersely."I'm fine Ken.""Bullshit!You're wound up tighter than a spring.Keep it together.Jun get me a closer visual on the screens.I need to know how many are left down there.""With the buildings collapsed around them I can't get you an exact.....""Estimate then, we need to radio ISO for a rescue op!""Roger""Ryu fly a recon over that mecha I need to look for a weakness so we can end this quickly."

What Jun pulled up on the screen was chilling.Hundreds lay dead.Still more were wounded and many more unaccounted for under the wreckage of the ruined city."If ISO pulled out the majority of the people what's this?""It's a big city Joe, there wasn't enough warning or time.""Russian roulette with lives Ken.""That's enough Joe!Get over here and scan this baby for a weak spot."There was no smart mouthed reply but quiet compliance.

Ryu stated the obvious. "She's coming around to fire on us!""Evasive action until we've finished scanning."The Phoenix banked neatly avoiding the fire of the mechas twin laser cannons.Joe's eyes were sharp as usual."There Ken, just behind the mandibles.If we slip in...""No time for all of that!""The firebird then.""Joe!The debris would kill the people below...""So would the debris from a bird missile.""....and the heat from the hinotori this close could fry them as well!""Then we can get it to follow us up higher!""There's no need when a bird missile can...""What if I miss?"Here it comes Ken thought.The moment he'd dreaded."You won't!But if Ryu or I have to do it for you there's a possibility that we will."Joe tensed.Ken was right.Their precision firing wasn't as accurate as his.If the damage was to be minimized it would have to be him to make the shot."But the people...""Are going to die anyhow if we waste more time in discussion!"

Joe closed his eyes only briefly in resignation that steeled himself with determination.Choices.Right or wrong one had to be made.Inactivity could be just as much a death sentence to the innocent as making the wrong choice.The mecha had to be stopped.He took aim and fired.

Ken watched him reach a resolution and knew he had his gunner back. "Good shot Joe!"When the brilliant flash of the explosion ended Joe's eyes traced the fall of the debris.It rained harmlessly on the buildings missing the exposed people below."And so it continues.""Not quite as before Joe.We have an opportunity to do something we've never done before.If any good has come from that race track its the wake up call we had.ISO hasn't responded yet so we're going down there to aid those people.Ryu fly down closer and release some CO to douse those flames!""Roger.""Who knows Joe maybe there's another Nika down there that we can salvage."Joe smiled sadly. "Who knows?"

They buried themselves in exhausted activity.Using what medical equipment they had they went from survivor to survivor.In the process of doing Joe found that he no longer dwelt on it.All they could do was their best.The blame was on Katse's head.The people cheered them.The only curses were reserved for Katse.Many would stop them and thank them for destroying the mecha that had destroyed their city.Many more thanked them for their aid and for caring about what happens next.

Joe moved on to the next one.A young woman who held a body, a dead child.His stomach clenched as he knelt beside her looking into her hollow eyes."They killed my baby!When does it stop?Who will stop them?How many more babies pay the price before someone stops them!" The echo of that question that had been in his mind.How many?No more if he had anything to do with it.In the face of another tragedy he found new resolve."We will"He held her then. "We'll stop them."

The team attended the funeral in full regalia.The woman was stunned at the honor accorded her little Trina.She was alone now she told them.Trina was all that she had left.That was when they introduced her to Nika.Now they had each other.

As Joe prepared for another race he was excited.Racing was right.And if Galactor did show up?Attack after attack proved that whether he was there or not, if it was meant to be it would be.The media praised Nambu after New Detroit.Not just for saving the world yet again, but for the humanitarianism demonstrated by the team as they personally tended to the wounded saving lives yet another way.How many?Not many more if the Kagaku Ninja Tai had anything to do with it.

The End.


End file.
